Big News

Okay, I've been working on this one a while so here it is...and no I'm not pregnant!  Let's just get that out of the way.  But since this is the month of gratitude and it is also National Adoption Month it seems like the perfect time to start telling everyone that we have our papers back in and are approved to adopt. This was not a rash decision by any means.  We have been talking about it since Ian was born, and we've been working on our paperwork since June.  It's a lot of stuff. We have put a lot of thought and prayer into this and feel like it is the right thing to do.  I don't know if we will end up with a baby, but we're going to give it a try (at least for a while--don't worry we don't want to be coming in on canes to high school graduation)!

Some people reading this already know, but I'm sure others are totally surprised and think I've lost my marbles and that's okay.  I've had mixed reactions from the people I've told so far.  For whatever reason I feel like I need to explain and even kind of justify myself on this one so here goes.  I guess the biggest reason we are doing this is because we would love to have another child.  Hopefully that's the reason anyone tries to have a baby.  I know we spent lots of money and time and emotion getting our other kids here and I am so grateful for them but that is in the past, and I just consider us like any other couple that would like a larger family (just one more I promise).  I don't really think anyone would question us if we were just like any other couple getting pregnant, but I guess we're really not. 

As far as why adoption, there are quite a few reasons.  Neither Jer or I feels like IVF is the right thing to do.  We think it is too big of a financial burden as well as too much time away, stress, etc. for me from our kids for something that may not even work.  We do not have any embryos leftover from our cycle with Ian.  It really was not a great IVF cycle other than of course the really great part where it worked.  Anyway, neither of us feels up to spending tons of money and making a bazillion trips to Salt Lake for something that may well fail.  We feel like if there is meant to be another baby for our family then adoption is the way it will happen.  We really are trying to leave this in God's hands.

I have spent a lot of time thinking and worrying about whether it is fair for us to try and adopt again when there are lots of couples with none or only one child out there also trying to adopt.  It has kept me up at night.  When we were taking the adoption classes before Seth's placement there was a couple in our class with four biological kids.  I can't remember exactly why they were trying to adopt, but I didn't even care.  I felt bitter towards them.  I thought she was very selfish.  Now I see it a little differently.  I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have four children.  I don't see that I have a lot of other options.  I am not preventing pregnancy.  It is just out of my control like it always has been.  I guess I'm a little more understanding now.  I also understand now that adoption is an inspired process and the right birth family gets matched up with the right adoptive family.  I have no doubt that Seth was meant for our family.  So with that in mind, I don't think that the same kind of birth moms are looking for young parents with no kids as would be looking for a family like ours.  That's what I think.

My last point is don't think for a second that Jer and I are claiming to be perfect parents...far from it.  We are just doing our best, trying to have lots of fun and make memories together, and trying to teach our kids the gospel and raise them to be good people.  When you adopt you have to somewhat sell yourself, but at the same time we are trying to be very honest about what our family life is like.  We are definitely a work in progress!  If you want to check out our profile please do:  https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/24947784/ourMessage.jsf
and if you know someone who may be considering adoption please feel free to pass it on to them.  Thanks for reading this really long, rambly post!

This was the day we brought Seth home.  It was one of the most amazing days of my life. We experienced the intense heartache of saying goodbye to Seth's birthparents, brought home our brand new baby son, watched Luke become a big brother, and just tried to take it all in.  It is a day I will never forget.  Adoption is not easy, but it truly is a miracle.  I am hoping there is one more out there for us.
                                    


P.S.  If you have feedback on our profile that's great.  I am going to let lots more people know soon via FaceBook to get the word out.  I know our pictures look a little distorted.  The website compresses them.  I am in the process of resizing them and hopefully when I re upload them all they will look better.  Any tips are appreciated.